Posts tagged ‘etiquette’

November 23, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
Our officiant is a really nice person and we like him a lot, but we only met him recently. We are paying for his services to officiate the ceremony. Do we have to invite him to the reception as well?

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The traditional etiquette is to invite the officiant to the reception dinner. That being said, he is probably used to receiving invitations and also used to politely declining. Since you have not known him for very long and do not have a close relationship with him, the chances are that he’ll either decline to attend the reception or stay for a short while during the cocktail hour. If he does accept, you should sit him at a table with the parents or close relatives.
– Wednesday
November 9, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
If a guest isn’t able to make it to the wedding, should I expect a wedding gift in lieu of their attendance?

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Although it is proper etiquette for the invited to send a gift even if they’re not able to make it to the wedding, never assume or expect that they will do so. Remember, your wedding is a celebration of love, not a gift-receiving event.
– Wednesday
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November 2, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
I don’t want to have children at the wedding, but there are some kids that I am willing to invite, like my nieces and nephews. If I put “adults only” on the invitations, but guests see other children at the reception, it would seem unfair. How can I fix this situation?

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Address the invitation to the parents rather than the whole family on the outer and inner envelopes (Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jennings vs. The Jennings Family). Also, specify the number of guests that are invited on the RVSP (“x seats have been reserved in your honor”). You may still get some phone calls or emails asking if they can bring their children. Kindly let them know that you have very limited space at the venue and you are extending invitations to children for close family members only.
– Wednesday
October 19, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
My fiancé and I have been living together for years and do not need traditional wedding gifts. What is the best way to ask for money instead?

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There is no appropriate way to ask for cash gifts. A great alternative to traditional wedding registries is to set up a honeymoon or wish fund. Check out honeyfund.com, depositagift.com, or uponourstar.com. For a small fee, usually a percentage of gifts received, these websites allow you to register for non-traditional things such as a romantic dinner or a scuba diving adventure. It also gifts you the option of splitting up big ticket items. For example, you can register for a new refrigerator and divide the cost into $50 increments.
– Wednesday
September 14, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
My family is notorious for bringing extra guests to any event. We’re pretty close to our maximum capacity at our venue. How do I let them know that they can’t bring random people to our wedding?

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On the RSVP, specify the number of guests you are extending the invitation to (“x seats have been reserved in your honor”). Also, you can include a note at the bottom of the RSVP explaining your situation (“Due to limited space, we are unable to accommodate additional guests. Thank you for your kind understanding.”).
– Wednesday
September 7, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
What is the proper way to address envelopes for gay or lesbian couples?

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  • For married or unmarried gay couple: Messrs. John Smith and Bob Jones (Messrs. is the plural of Mr.)
  • For married lesbian couple: Mesdames Jane Doe and Sally Parker (Mesdames is the plural of Mrs.)
  • For unmarried lesbian couple: Mses. or Mss. Jane Doe and Sally Parker (Mses. and Mss. are plurals of Ms.)

– Wednesday

August 31, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
Should I invite co-workers to my wedding? How can I invite some people without others knowing? Should I forget the workplace altogether?

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If you are good friends with your co-workers, you should definitely invite them. However, you are not obligated invite every single person from your office. Be discreet about who you are inviting and mail the invitations instead of handing it to them at work. Maybe suggest a casual office pizza party/wedding shower to celebrate your upcoming marriage so that everyone feels included.
– Wednesday
August 24, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
How much should I spend on a wedding gift?

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It depends on many factors such as your financial situation, your relationship to the couple, whether or not you are bringing a date, and the location of the wedding. For example, if you are flying across the country to attend the wedding, you may be expected to gift a bit less. You should also take into considering how many wedding-related events you’ll be attending. It’s suggested that you spend about 20% of your gift budget for each event and the rest toward the wedding gift. For a co-worker or an acquaintance, you should spend about $75-100; for a family member or friend, you should spend about $100-125; for a close relative or close friend, or if you are part of the bridal party, you should spend about $125-150. Don’t forget to count your date! If your close friend is getting married and you’re bringing a date (someone who does not know your friend very well), your gift budget should be around $200 ($125+$75). If you are attending this friend’s engagement party, bridal shower and the wedding, spend about $40 each on the shower and engagement gifts, and about $120 on the wedding gift. (Also, Check out this Gift Calculator by The Wedding Envelope.)
– Wednesday