Archive for ‘ask wednesday’

November 23, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
Our officiant is a really nice person and we like him a lot, but we only met him recently. We are paying for his services to officiate the ceremony. Do we have to invite him to the reception as well?

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The traditional etiquette is to invite the officiant to the reception dinner. That being said, he is probably used to receiving invitations and also used to politely declining. Since you have not known him for very long and do not have a close relationship with him, the chances are that he’ll either decline to attend the reception or stay for a short while during the cocktail hour. If he does accept, you should sit him at a table with the parents or close relatives.
– Wednesday
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November 9, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
If a guest isn’t able to make it to the wedding, should I expect a wedding gift in lieu of their attendance?

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Although it is proper etiquette for the invited to send a gift even if they’re not able to make it to the wedding, never assume or expect that they will do so. Remember, your wedding is a celebration of love, not a gift-receiving event.
– Wednesday
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November 2, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
I don’t want to have children at the wedding, but there are some kids that I am willing to invite, like my nieces and nephews. If I put “adults only” on the invitations, but guests see other children at the reception, it would seem unfair. How can I fix this situation?

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Address the invitation to the parents rather than the whole family on the outer and inner envelopes (Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jennings vs. The Jennings Family). Also, specify the number of guests that are invited on the RVSP (“x seats have been reserved in your honor”). You may still get some phone calls or emails asking if they can bring their children. Kindly let them know that you have very limited space at the venue and you are extending invitations to children for close family members only.
– Wednesday
October 26, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
My fiancé and I come from different cultural backgrounds and we’re trying to figure out who pays for what. In my culture, the groom’s family pays and in his culture, the bride’s family pays. How can we compromise on this?

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It’s best to consider who is financially able to contribute to the wedding rather than sticking to cultural traditions. As we discussed in our budget blog, have a conversation with both sets of parents to see how they would like to be involved. Also, consider your personal finances and discuss how much you and your fiancé can contribute toward the wedding.
– Wednesday
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October 19, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
My fiancé and I have been living together for years and do not need traditional wedding gifts. What is the best way to ask for money instead?

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There is no appropriate way to ask for cash gifts. A great alternative to traditional wedding registries is to set up a honeymoon or wish fund. Check out honeyfund.com, depositagift.com, or uponourstar.com. For a small fee, usually a percentage of gifts received, these websites allow you to register for non-traditional things such as a romantic dinner or a scuba diving adventure. It also gifts you the option of splitting up big ticket items. For example, you can register for a new refrigerator and divide the cost into $50 increments.
– Wednesday
October 12, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
To-may-to, to-mah-to, fiancé, finacée?

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Fiancé is a male, fiancée is a female. If you are a woman, you would refer to your hubby-to-be as fiancé. If you are a man, you would call your wife-to-be finacée. [Random fact: These words are often mispronounced — the emphasis should be on the 3rd syllable, like fee-ahn-SEY.]
– Wednesday
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October 5, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
I know that it’s not cheap to be a bridesmaid, but the dress I want them to wear costs over $250. I’ve looked at other designers and similar dresses, but nothing compares. How can I tell my friends to buy an expensive dress that they may or may not wear again?

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Before you start browsing for bridesmaid dresses, talk to your girls individually about their budget. If everyone’s budget is $200, but you fall in love with a $250 dress, maybe you can offer to pay the $50 difference.
– Wednesday
September 28, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
As a wedding gift, my parents offered to pay for the photographer. When we found the perfect photographer and let my parents know about the package deals, my mom completely flipped out at the $3000 price tag! I personally think that it’s very reasonable for what is included (e-pics, 2nd shooter, 30 pg wedding album, 2 parents albums, 1 large framed print, etc.). My mom keeps referring to how much they spent on a photographer when they got married 30 years ago. What do I do?

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When family members or close friends offer a specific wedding item as a gift, it is best to discuss a ballpark figure of what they’re estimating. This helps to avoid any misunderstanding or confusion as you (or they) research the gift. You should discuss with both your parents about how much they would like to spend on photography. If their estimate is below what you would like to spend, considering paying for the difference. If you decide to go this route, make sure to keep your parents in the loop and communicate with them openly so that they don’t mistake your decision as being unhappy with how much they’re able to contribute. You just don’t want anyone to get their feelings hurt! Also, you can ask your photographer to put together a custom package based on your budget. You may have to compromise and do without the extras (parents albums, large print, etc.), but you can buy these items at a later date as long as you have the hi-res images on a DVD. For more suggestions and tips on the budgeting process, check out The B Word Pt 1 and Pt 2!
– Wednesday
September 21, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
For our destination wedding, do we have to pay for the bridal party’s travel and accommodation?

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No, as is the case with local weddings, your bridal party is responsible for their own transportation and accommodation. You are expected to host dinner the night before the wedding, but nothing more. However, if you budget allows, it would be great for you to provide hotel rooms for your bridal party.
[Tip: Consider renting a vacation home near the ceremony/reception site. It might be cheaper than booking multiple hotel rooms.]
– Wednesday
September 14, 2011

Ask Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,
My family is notorious for bringing extra guests to any event. We’re pretty close to our maximum capacity at our venue. How do I let them know that they can’t bring random people to our wedding?

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On the RSVP, specify the number of guests you are extending the invitation to (“x seats have been reserved in your honor”). Also, you can include a note at the bottom of the RSVP explaining your situation (“Due to limited space, we are unable to accommodate additional guests. Thank you for your kind understanding.”).
– Wednesday